So my ex husband is a total prick. I wanted to file my taxes and I needed his social security number because technically we're still married, and he refused to give it to me because we're "legally separated" but there's no such thing as a legal separation in the state of VA so we still have to file married/separate and he's being a dumb ass and filing single so one of us is gonna get audited and get in trouble and it's not going to be me. grrrr. Whats even dumber is that he has a security clearance that he'll lose if he gets in trouble so whatever. I hope he does lose it. There's no reason for him to be such a *&^% and completely ignore me and not talk to me about something like this. So I searched through some old paperwork and found his social and filed married.
Joey's being an angel lately, Zoe's dad. He's perfectly OK with me dating, he said he's still going to help me out money wise and take care of us. I swear when I was talking to him I would've given him the biggest hug ever if I could. He's been alot more supportive lately, he calls every couple of days, we end our conversations with an I love you and miss you. I send him pics of Zoe as often as I can, it's difficult though now since its just me and the Zo.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Does Til Death Do Us Part Exist?
So come on now I know we've all done it. Searching through myspace friends and oops, "stumbling" upon an ex boyfriend. Then you get that gut wrenching wanna vomit feeling when you look at his comments and see the new girlfriend posts of "I love you" and "Last night was great!". Even if it's a few months after the fact I still don't like to share.
I came across my ex husbands myspace, this time truly by accident he was a friend of a friend and of course his pic was next to mine in her friends list. And his pic was of him and some girl. It did feel weird, but it wasn't the "I'm gonna puke" feeling I've gotten with others... I guess that means its truly a good thing we're divorcing, I know he's not right for me and I'm not right for him, the sad thing is I knew that before I even started dating him, he's the only guy I've ever dated that when he told me he loved me I couldn't say it back. I did, of course, I didn't say anything for a few minutes and then told him, played it off as I was speechless, and then a short month later when he asked me to marry him I said yes. I was so afraid to be alone forever ya know? But still, even though I know it's not there, I hate the fact we're getting a divorce. Rather, I hate the fact that we didn't TRY. I wanted to go to counseling, he wanted out. And I can't say I blame him, but what happened to our vows? through sickness and in health, til death do us part? He won't even talk to me now, although he says he's over it. Maybe if he'd talk to me about it and I felt like he was really over it I would be ok with this. But then again, he's just not right for me. He was handsome, I'll give him that much. But that's where it ended. He expected me to change who I was and got really possessive after we got married. I'm either too young for that or I need a man who can give me some room knowing I'll always come back if he does. And Jono simply isn't that man...
I came across my ex husbands myspace, this time truly by accident he was a friend of a friend and of course his pic was next to mine in her friends list. And his pic was of him and some girl. It did feel weird, but it wasn't the "I'm gonna puke" feeling I've gotten with others... I guess that means its truly a good thing we're divorcing, I know he's not right for me and I'm not right for him, the sad thing is I knew that before I even started dating him, he's the only guy I've ever dated that when he told me he loved me I couldn't say it back. I did, of course, I didn't say anything for a few minutes and then told him, played it off as I was speechless, and then a short month later when he asked me to marry him I said yes. I was so afraid to be alone forever ya know? But still, even though I know it's not there, I hate the fact we're getting a divorce. Rather, I hate the fact that we didn't TRY. I wanted to go to counseling, he wanted out. And I can't say I blame him, but what happened to our vows? through sickness and in health, til death do us part? He won't even talk to me now, although he says he's over it. Maybe if he'd talk to me about it and I felt like he was really over it I would be ok with this. But then again, he's just not right for me. He was handsome, I'll give him that much. But that's where it ended. He expected me to change who I was and got really possessive after we got married. I'm either too young for that or I need a man who can give me some room knowing I'll always come back if he does. And Jono simply isn't that man...
Almost Time
Well, I've been at my parents for about 6 weeks now, and I have to fly back to Virginia on monday. It totally sucks. I know Zoe is totally going to miss her papa, and definitly her grandma, she's been there since Zo was born... It's scary to think I'm taking her home by myself. Not to mention leave her with a stranger for 6 hours while I have to go to work. Well, not a complete stranger, I know her but Zoe sure doesn't. My sister and brother are up to see her, it's so great. I missed them.
With my sister it's kinda different now. It was ironic because in the car today she was saying something about how her sister in law was being dumb and getting in the middle of 2 other peoples relationship (her husband and his estranged daughter) and pretty much not minding her own buisness. Well the irony is that the reason we arn't close anymore is because she shoved her way into my husband (now ex) and my relationship, listened to him prattle and lie and then turned on me without asking if any of it was true. Not to mention alot of negitivity towards me being pregnant, I think she's slightly jealous of that. She says she doesn't want kids but I think as she's getting older maybe she does. Dan won't give him to her though even if she decided she did want them. But he's an ass like that, a whole other story.
Now that Zoe's in my world and I'm moving on from Joey, I want to start dating. I don't like being single, I miss having someone to argue with and cuddle with. I've already met 3 amazing guys, it's going to be hard to choose I think.
With my sister it's kinda different now. It was ironic because in the car today she was saying something about how her sister in law was being dumb and getting in the middle of 2 other peoples relationship (her husband and his estranged daughter) and pretty much not minding her own buisness. Well the irony is that the reason we arn't close anymore is because she shoved her way into my husband (now ex) and my relationship, listened to him prattle and lie and then turned on me without asking if any of it was true. Not to mention alot of negitivity towards me being pregnant, I think she's slightly jealous of that. She says she doesn't want kids but I think as she's getting older maybe she does. Dan won't give him to her though even if she decided she did want them. But he's an ass like that, a whole other story.
Now that Zoe's in my world and I'm moving on from Joey, I want to start dating. I don't like being single, I miss having someone to argue with and cuddle with. I've already met 3 amazing guys, it's going to be hard to choose I think.
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